Meh

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I'm stuck in the middle of the $%&U)"§=! love scene. Which is on page 160. Of a 316-page manuscript. Which I have to hand back in complete with revisions next Monday. ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

I feel like a fraud

Remember this? Yup, here we go again. I guess I'll have to completely re-write the pre-love-love-scene. Duh. Or perhaps I can somehow get people to read only the first third of the book ... Hmm ...

Drat

I wanna cry: I've now reached the original uh-oh part of the book. And it's still uh-oh. *sob*


moar funny pictures

Cleaning Update

Contents of third shelf litter my study. In fact, it looks as if the third shelf exploded in my study (without the shelf disintegrating, that is) (so, it's more a case of the third shelf being sick into my study ...). Am desperate. Need to do my taxes tomorrow. And write guest blog for Whine Sisters. Yet for the time being, desk is gone. Has disappeared under folders, papers, glue, screwdriver, bookmarks, scissors, dust-what-cha-call-it-brush(?)-thingie, watch, notebooks, a cup, an old teaser booklet for TLB, an I've-no-clue-what-that-one's-called-(either in German or English)-thingie, more folders, my phone. Am really desperate. It's going to be a loooong evening!

Need more hours per day

This this one of those times again when I ought to do 101 different things at the same time -- and things simply don't work out the way they're supposed to. *sigh* I still haven't ordered flyers or bookmarks for Castle, I still have that huge pile of corrections, I still have to design an ad plus the aforementioned flyers and bookmarks for Castle, I still have to install Photoshop on my 'puter, I still have to prepare my seminar (which starts like, in two weeks's time -- aaaaaargh! *head desk*), I still have to edit that $(%)?"§&( book for uni, I still have to write one article as well as three papers (the third paper is Mark B's fault 'cause he talked me going to that comic conference) (okay, okay, that one's going to be a fun paper) (the other two are, too, actually), I still have to put together the website pages with the background info about Castle, I still have to do my taxes ...

Well, you get the point.

So would anybody please give me more hours per day? Please??? (Or, if I can't have any more hours, could somebody do the litter trays?)

$%($)"`?)=§/(!!!!!!

What the heck was the point of writing this novel??? Can anybody tell me?????? AAAAAAARGH!!! *head desk*

I've just realized that I have given absolutely NO thought to doing away with the villains. What in all the world am I going to do with the villains? Okay, one of them dies, but what about the other? How about sending them to Bedlam? Hmm, that would work perhaps (especially since I start feeling like a Bedlamite myself....) (See? At times like this it would be really nice if dancers and choreographers had blogs. Because, you know, you could visit said blogs and read about totally romance-unrelated stuff! Look at pics of nice-looking men hopping across a stage or other such things! -- Yes, totally shallow, but hello? nobody can expect me to be all deep and serious right now when I'm about to have a nervous breakdown over the dratted ms!)

Totally OT: Speaking of pics of men: Have you noticed that Harlequin is using one the same male model for almost all of the Kimani romances? And he hasn't got any hair! At least not on his head, but sometimes in his face. I mean, hello? Ever heard of a bald romance hero, even if he was fashionably bald??? (Oh, wait, isn't J.R. Ward's Z running around with a shaven head? His own, that is. Not running around with other people's shaven heads.) You people there at Harlequin: this is bad. Really bad. Especially when the book describes the hero as having nice, fairly long hair. Don't do this to us! And that strange beard? Beards are generally a big no-no for romancelandish heroes! So they should be for cover models, too!!!

Okay, rant over, back to the ms.

Heck.

Interim Report #3: On Swords and Stuff

*taking a deep breath* Hey, you villains! Here I come! So swing your swords and behave!!!

So, I'm no getting ready to finish that last scene. With the swords.

Btw, to attack the plant with the sword was a really bad idea: frankly, the scene sucks. Big time. Duh.

5-O'Clock-Tea Interim Report

Finished the proofreading. Last scene still remains to be written. To sum up so far:

Prologue-Chapter 4: really love these!
Chapters 5-9 : not too bad either
Chapters 10-12 : uh-oh
Chapters 13-14 : waaaargh! *head-desk*
Chapter 15 : not too bad
Chapter 16 : waaaargh! *head-desk*
Chapter 17-18 : not too bad, again
Chapter 19 : something between uh-oh and *head-desk*
Chapter 20-21 : uh-oh
Epilogue : fine

In short, the first half of the book is fine, the second half mostly crap. Wonderful. Furthermore, I've remembered that I originally wanted to have some tension between my hero and his older brother. I totally forgot about that. Duh. I'm not quite sure whether there's enough time to put it in.

I've also stumbled across a word I don't know: these long sticks of rolled-up paper they put next to the fireplaces to light fires and cheroots? What the heck are these things called? Anybody?

Interim Report

70 more pages to proofread.

One more scene to write.

5 1/2 hours left. (Well, actually, thanks to the time difference I could actually stretch it to 7 1/2 hours.)

I've run out of gummibears and chocolate Zwieback.

Chapter 13, 14, and 16 suck.

Help!

Halbzeit

What can I say? Despair! Despair! Despair!

And my heroine is a cry-baby. *sigh* Okay, she's got every right and reason in the world to cry her eyes out, but still, I cut the whole bawling short. Drowning in tears, as Alice found out, isn't too much fun.

Have I already mentioned how much I hate reading my own stuff when it's all still raw and not yet approved by either agent or editor?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!

Never mind those bloody villains! They refuse to behave, so instead of finishing that $%U)"§!%$%§ scene, I'm going to proofread for the next two hours or so. And then fall into bed, get up at six, and continue proofreading.

Oh yes, and try finishing the $%)"?§=%(")§ last scene.

Duh.

409 Pages

Earlier this evening I phoned a friend of mine. "How's the book doing?" she asked.

"Ooooooh," I wailed. "It's soooooo horrible! The first third is sort of nice, but, you know, the rest of it! It's horrible. They'll probably not want to publish it!"

"Sounds exactly like your last manuscript."

Oh.

Oh well.

So, does that mean ... there's still hope???

Yay!

I still need to write that $&)=!§/%($ last scene, proofread the second half of the book and insert those corrections.

Ironically ...

... that love scene wasn't quite so bad as I had feared.

I still haven't written that last scene, though. *sigh*

I want to cry

I really, really want to cry.